Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Sure, it's a good day to cry....

Melanie and I were emailing this morning about honoring loved ones that have passed away at weddings.... she asked if I planned on doing anything for my mom. I said no, it's a happy day, and I don't really want a reminder that she's not there.

Then she sent me this email....

Yeah I totally understand. I know your mom would have had a BLAST helping you plan the wedding. So, I totally get it.

Speaking of that, my dad told me the sweetest story last time I was home. It was a bit random but very sweet. Here’s a warning for you – it may make you tear up (or maybe that’s just me J). I was telling him about your wedding and how beautiful its going to be he all of the sudden said “I had a flower to give to her but it’s gone now.” I was like “Um, what are you talking about Dad???” He then told me that on the day of your mom’s funeral, as they were pushing the casket out of the sanctuary on the way to the graveside, my Dad was the last one in the building after the service. He was walking through turning off lights and what not and he found a pink long-stem rose laying on the floor where the casket had been pushed out. He assumed it must have fallen off the rose spray on top. He picked it up and immediately thought of you. He said it was almost like he was suppose to find it. He said he went and hung it upside down in a closet in the church where nobody would find it and he said eventually he would give it to you…and tell you the story. He would check on it from time to time to make sure it was still there. After about 9 months, they got a new janitor and when my dad went to check on it, it was gone. So, he never got a chance to give it back to you. But I thought it was such a sweet sentiment. I got a little teary eyed when he told me. But I thought you should know that if it had been left alone, I wouldn’t put it past my dad to have made the trip to the wedding just to give it to you. He really felt like the rose was meant for you. And he was meant to find it and give it to you eventually.

Maybe a single pink rose at the wedding wouldn't be so bad.

1 comment:

Aeriel said...

That’s such a touching story!

I think a single pink rose would be perfect. You don't have to make your day about what you lost, you don’t have to focus on that missing person, but a simple acknowledgement will go a long way. Matt and I both lost a parent when we were kids (my dad and his mom) and we both agree that you can’t help but think of them on your wedding day. Having something nice and happy to remind you that they are always with you is a comfort, not sad. I would strongly urge you to do something special for yourself in remembrance of your mom. I had a label stitched into my dress like a pocket on the left side (near my heart) and in that pocket I placed a token of my father’s so he could be there to help walk me down the aisle. Matt wore a pin that had belonged to his mother in his boutonniere. The pin was of her initials which are also Matt’s initials. These sentimental things didn’t make us sad – they made us stronger and able to smile that much bigger knowing that these special loved ones where there with us. Having a single pink rose as a symbol of your mother at your wedding would be beautiful and it’s something that could brighten an already happy day.